5 Things I’d Like My
Children To Know
(Photo by Valerie Porter)
There’s Nothing You Can Do
That Will Make Me Stop Loving You
I love you. You may not recall, but you used to be a baby. A
baby that would shoot vomit or yellow explosive poop all over my whole self every few hours.
But guess what?? I still thought your chubby
cheeks (butt cheeks included) were the cutest things to ever grace the planet
earth. Believe me when I say, there is
nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you.
Nothing. Nada. Zippo
If you become a serial killer, I will call the police,
change the locks on my doors and board up the windows, BUT…. I. Will. Not. Stop.
Loving. You.
Your Pain Is My Pain
When you were two, we decided to torture you by taking your binky away. You sat in your room and cried for an entire hour. I know, it was
extremely traumatizing and you can blame your serial killing on that if you’d
like. What you probably don’t realize is while you were screaming your guts out;
I was sitting in my room crying right along with you.
When you had to go the emergency room, I stood by your side,
putting on a brave face telling you everything would be all right. But I really felt like screaming on the top of my
lungs, “MAKE IT STOP!!!” as I punched the walls (and any nurse that couldn’t get
your IV in on the first try).
When you don’t get
asked to a school dance,
When you don’t make
the team,
When you miss a word
in a spelling bee,
I feel it.
If I could take away
all of your pain,
I would.
But I also understand that feeling pain helps us recognize
and appreciate joy. My greatest wish is for you to have more happy days than
sad, more laughter than tears and more joy than despair. Unfortunately, we all
have bad days. Just know that when the rain comes pouring down,
You Are Not Alone.
(Photo by Valerie Porter)
Be Picky
Remember all of the times we’ve told you to love everyone,
forgive others and try not to judge? All great advice…except when it comes to
dating. Well, it’s still great advice,
but let me make a few modifications.
BUT if it turns
out to be a crappy, no good book that treats you poorly and encourages you to
lower your standards, you don’t have to finish it.
When it comes to
forgiving people,
Do it.
ALWAYS.
Just know that forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to stay in a relationship with him or her.
Find someone who respects you. Find
someone who serves
other people. Find someone who loves you for who you are.
If the person you are
with is dragging you down,
Forgive them.
And then walk away.
Far far away.
Walk to Kansas.
(Photo by Valerie Porter)
Hard Work Is The Key To
Happiness
Well, maybe not THE key, but it is A key. Everything worth having requires work.
Marriage, children, home, green grass, education, employment, chocolate chip
cookies, clean clothes…EVERYTHING. Please don’t hate us because we make you do chores.
We’re not just using you because we don’t want to clean the toilets ourselves.
(That only happens on
Tuesdays.)
We give you responsibilities so you can learn how to lead
successful, productive lives. A good
work ethic isn’t something that you can order off of Amazon and if you can
learn how to work hard when you’re small, it’s going to be a heck of a lot
easier to swallow when you get to enjoy the freedoms/shackles of
adulthood. When you get your first job
you’ll notice there are teens dropping like flies all around you. They don’t
feel like coming to work today because their boyfriend told them their hair
looked weird in a visor, or their cat is feeling sick, or they have a splinter
in their pinky toe.
Don’t Be That Kid.
Be Happy With Who You Are
Warning: You are going to have a strong urge to ignore
everything I’m about to say because I’m your mother. Please, do me a favor and
pretend I’m not your mother for a paragraph or two.
There is something uniquely wonderful about
you.
(Photo by Valerie Porter)
You are beautiful and strong and
interesting.
You will have so many
opportunities to magnify those qualities,
but before you can,
you’re going to
need to believe that you are
beautiful and strong and interesting.
(Photo by Valerie Porter)
People will say things about you that will make you doubt yourself and
make you want to stick your head in the sand. People can be mean. Really mean.
When that happens,
FIGHT!
Don’t fight them, fight the words they put in your
head.
(Unless they are physically trying to harm you, then by all means, kick
them in the junk sack.)
But whatever you
do, don’t join their team.
Don’t look in the mirror and attack the beauty that
is you.
Remind yourself daily that you
are uniquely wonderful and then go out and serve. The best antidote for a “bad hair day” or a “feeling
fat day” is forgetting about you and doing something good for someone else.
When you serve others, you’ll be reminded of your worth.
And if you need someone else to remind you of
your worth,
Call your mother.
Call me.
(Photo by Valerie Porter)
